I had the opportunity to visit the observance of September 11 at the California Memorial in Clovis California. I got there as they were setting up. I took photos. I even started a media stream on QIK, which you can find here.
And then I left.
I just couldn’t stay. My own grief is still too strong and too private. The crowds were too close. There were people there who were actually happy, and some laughed with their friends as they waited for the start of the ceremonies.
I think it is a testament to human strength that we can learn to laugh in spite of pain. I remember how difficult it was after the terror for our nation to recover it’s ability to laugh.
But I don’t feel like laughing this morning. I don’t feel like being strong, or proud, or patriotic. For some reason the old pain was fresh again, and I felt like I did that day as I watched the television in horror.
I want to weep, I want to be comforted, I want the world to make sense.
How many years until this old pain fades? How long? I’ll let you know when it fades – if it fades.
Tomorrow is soon enough to be furious at man’s inhumanity toward man. Today I’ll just lick my wounds again.